July 2, 2014. My Journal Notebook. I Am A Writer

I didn't use any gadget on July 1st.  I tried to savor the simple life.  It was stress free.  

Now, I'm back to our modern life.  We need to update.  I need to update because this is my work. My body seeks its vocation.  Once a writer, there is no turning back even if you get more or less of it.  I will not change the saddle of my horse in the middle of a fight.  My body is made up a pool of shades that swirls into time. I am a writer.

As always my mentors, tell me to let go.  I say, "No."  

"You have to... "They insist.  "Why?"

"I'm scared I may not be able to come back."

So here I am.  I cannot come back.  It will be foolish to pretend. And as literature is a very complex art, I cannot explain what drives me mad.  Reason is impotent.  

Yes, I have to write honestly. That is my responsibility to those who will read my work.  I will try to write better everyday in my fiction, in my essays, in my poems.

 As Kierkegaard says, "We encounter the true self not in the detachment of thought, but in the involvement and agony of choice and the pathos of commitment to our choice."

So help me God.