December 3, 2013. Falling In Love

This is falling in love…

===================================

Dear Kieth,

I am missing you, please write.

Love,

Ashra

September 4, 2003

My Darling,

I have told you that I miss you 

My heart breaks a little more each day

we

miss

each other.

All I have is yours, my heart and my love

I can have no secrets from the woman

I adore.

All my love,

Kieth

September 4, 2003

Dear  Kieth,

You make me feel important, though I could not give you anything

Your tenderness melts me

Your words suffice me

Thank you for giving your heart to someone you do not even see

I can feel your kindness

My tears are flowing

Thank you

for being  nice

to me.

Love,

Ashra

My Dearest Ashra,

We keep missing each other.. . 

My heart breaks when I can’t find you.

My earnest dream would be to hold you in my arms when I sleep

And to wake with you.

The way I feel would make it impossible to hold you through the night

without wanting to love and adore you forever.

My heart and soul, as always,  are yours to command.

I love you,

Kieth

My Dearest Kieth,

For bearing with me and my crazy scribbles – my gratitude

Writing you set my words free

I wish I could mean more than my words.

Yes I do,

I treasure that love

I keep it with me to my grave.

Always,

Ashra

September 7, 2003

My Dearest Ashra,

My love, heart and soul are yours to do with what you will

We are not old enough to need love nor too young to waste it

I need to express how I feel for you because

I would surely regret

Never having told you

I am yours to love or discard, but my love

Is my gift to you for an eternity.

My Dearest Kieth,

Forever is a word seldom used, I could not imagine the great

love in

your heart.

Yes, when you are sad – think that sometime I came into your life and

GAVE

YOU ALL THE LOVE TO CHERISH FOREVER… I

Held you close with an embrace

And

Kissed you until dawn… never to let you go

I could die in your arms

Because

I love you.

Ashra

My Dearest Ashra,

Although forever is a word seldom used,

It would be fleeting compared

To how

Long I will cherish you

The love in my heart is for you and you alone

My only wish is to see your beautiful face

Before when I close my

Eyes to

Sleep and wake with you still next to me

To explore our love and passions would be

A dream

All my love,

Kieth

September 8, 2003

Kieth,

How can dreams come true?

How can it become real?

Then I give you my all, my heart and myself

Do as you wish in your dreams

I am yours

In the pigments of your imagination

I submit to you

With love in my heart

I will cross space and time with you.

Ashra

From Salem

Why did you dry up writing emails?

I am missing the affection you

Promised me.

Hi Kieth,

My love will break bounds

In the hope that sometime you and I will be together

Ashra

My Darling,

I am sad

That I could not hold you

I am sad

That I couldn’t  give you the

Warm touch of my affection,

Kieth

To Salem,

YOU come and you go

Leaving me memories

Unexplained

Yet I cherish

Every moment

When you remember me

If I could only make you mine

I long for you as sunlight is to a rose

And if I could I only take you

I would not hesitate to do it

Passionately,

Ashra

Kieth,

You make my dreams come true

Because

I could rest in your love.

September 8, 2003

Forgive me for intruding

Into your peaceful life

For taking your love

You realize my wishes

Catch my falling tears

I could cry in your arms

I wish that you will never let me go

In this illusion

Because I’d rather be lost

In a dream

With you.

Real love betrays

But dreams pursue the stars

You are my dream.

Love,

Ashra

September 8, 2003

My darling Ashra,

I could not leave you if I tried

You have my heart in an embrace

That I cherish

If I am your dream then you are

The fulfillment of my every wish and hope

I wish, I could give you more

Than just words

Anything at all that you want from me

Is yours, just ask my love

I am yours until the sun fades

From the sky for the very

Last time.

My love always,

Ashra

2.

My dearest Ashra,

I accept anything of yourself you can give

Your words keep me sane throughout the day

For without your love I would lose

The will to live

I gave you my heart it is yours to play

Just  please, please tell me you love

Me if only once in a day

I am yours to do with what you will

My love and heart always,

Kieth

September 9 2003

To Kieth,

NO I would not play with your heart

For if you lose the will

Then I had lost mine

Please stay.  Please take care

I love you.

Ashra

Kieth, tell me please

How do I go on with my review

I find it difficult for there are many chores and I still need to do a lot of readings..

If I don’t make good in this

Sort of me being hopeless

Also, I don’t chat anymore

Though it’s fun.  Tired of the 2 month exploration.

 But it’s good then. I

got friends. 

I enjoyed it and I have learned a lot…

I live a simple life now but with a broken heart

I would welcome your suggestions

Thanks.

I fear tomorrow

Of sometime losing you

Or of sometime going away

Of sometime without you

How could I live then?

And if so

When I’m gone

My ashes

Scattered

In the wind -

will still embrace you.

Loneliness creeps

Like shadows in the night

When I think

Of

Our love

That would not be realized

I love you,

Ashra

To Ashra,

I miss your long emails.  I miss our chat

Have you forgotten me now?

Salem

Hi Salem,

I could not find you

Yes, my heart breaks a little more each day

I chat a little with someone

But I could not

It was you that I always thought of.

September 10, 2003

Dear Ashra,

You are in my thoughts everyday

No one can replace you

I am dying without you

Dear Kieth,

Please stay

I am missing you so much

Someone told me that you could be my fantasy

I said NO, I don’t fantasize

I have a dream

I don’t want anyone stealing my dreams.

You are my dream

Until the sun fades from the sky for the very last time

I would keep your heart

And give you my love – my all

Please take care darling

My love forever,

Ashra

Hi Ashra,

As for me – I want

to keep something

That I could not hold and own

Something that only the heart knows

And can understand

That which stays in life

But does not end in death

Someone I could keep

As a friend forever

This is sacred.

Passionately,

Salem

TO Salem,

I could not count

The times I think of you

Asking

Why you came into my life

Searching for the answers

To my questions

The whys of you

The whys

I could not ask you

Not even beg

Only remain

To be what you like

So I could stay

With you

 And be your friend

In the withering corners

Of

My heart.

Ashra

September 10, 2003

My Dearest Ashra

You are the one reason of my existence

I was put on this earth for just one reason, to love you

My love now and forever,

Kieth

    2.Dearest Ashra,

I am currently working nights so it

Is difficult to get on line for

Any length of time.

3.    My dearest Ashra,

My love is yours, my soul is yours

You cannot lose someone who is your soulmate

I am yours forever

My love always,

Kieth

My Darling Ashra,

My love knows no bounds

Even if we do not talk, my heart is in your hands

My thoughts are full of you

My dreams are of you alone

My love is for you only

Kieth

Dearest Ashra,

I am yours and you are mine I think

Of you constantly

I yearn for your touch every waking moment

I need your love for without it there

Would be no point in my existance

My heart is yours,

Kieth

Dearest Darling Ashra,

YOU are my dream, my fantasy and my life

If only we could have met at an earlier time, I would have gladly

Devoted my

Mind body and soul just to

please you

I am here for you whenever

You need me

My heart as always is yours

Together with my love

Kieth

Dear Kieth,

I feel your warm embrace

I feel your gentleness

I feel your heart missing me

I feel you holding me

I feel your love till the sun fades

But I wont take your soul because it belongs to GOD alone

I’ ll take your love and your heart

Please stay

Ashra

My Dearest Ashra

I love you more than I could ever

Put in words

You must trust that my

Love is solely for you

I pray that you can feel my love

Everyday

Please love me for I could not exist without you

GOD, although all seeing and loving

Could not deny that my soul is yours He

Knows that you are the keeper of my hopes and dreams.

My heart belongs to you alone.

Kieth

TO Kieth

Our love conquers distance

The souls

Are entwined in the wind

Blown from heaven

Now I’m full of you

I exist

My heart throbs for you each day

Whispering your name, in

The depth of  silence

I keep every moment

Thinking of you and pray

Holding your heart

Never to part

Until I die

unto eternity

I shout your love

In the roaring thunder

I cry in the gentleness of your

Embrace

I bleed in the sweetness of it

Until I sleep in peace

And rest with you,

With you.

EXCELLENT!

More laters after Saturday

Email me more

I would not let you go

After you made me crazy

‘Miss you sweetie.

Salem

September 12, 2003

My Darling Ashra

I felt tears as I read your work

Your words touch me as no

Others ever have

I ache for you everyday, my body yearns for you

I exist only for you, if you

Discarded me, I would have

No reason for my being here

My love always and forever

Kieth

My Dear Kieth,

I’m glad you liked my scribble and that you felt tears because as I was writing, it was

 really painful for me to grapple for the right words.  You are my inspiration.  I could not

have thought of the crying, the embrace, and my bleeding had I not thought of your

gentleness with me.  The soul can never lie.  I could not lie in what I said

Please write and tell me again

You love me

Thank you for yourself

Now I believe in soulmates

I love you,

Ashra

ALL THE WAY, my poems are for you:

In the darkness of  the night I feel you

Illuminating my heart

Your hands gently wipe away

The tears on my face

Like soft clouds touching

Icebergs

I feel you holding me

Keeping a rose on the altar offering a prayer

I feel you

Kissing me, my soul

Weaving remnants

 Ripped

My last breath is sealed with your gentle kiss.

Time and time

I look for a friend

 Breaking in  the warm

Joy gushing

Skipping waves

To the silent shores

I drown in the tranquility of your heart

In the silent throbs of your breath

Ashra

Dearest Ashra,

My love is yours until time ends the sun rises no more and man has vanished from the earth.

I will always love you,

Kieth

Dearest Kieth,

I could not attain peace

If I could not write you

Everyday I am missing you

And would like to embrace you

Rest in your arms.

I would like to kiss you

Feel your breath

In mine

My every heartbeat

Would not let you go

Death is the only reason

That would stop me from writing you

But my love stays with you until eternity

I could be anything for you

Because I love you so much

Please don’t stop loving me

Keep me until time ends

The sun rises no more

And man has vanished from the earth.

Ashra

The friend I’ve always wanted?

No one equals the great you

I would not lose you

I’m ready to stand by you

And pick the stars for you.

Happy birthday Salem!

==============================================================

September 15, 2003

I have been wondering why you don’t write me

Are you sick?

Are you busy?

Is there something wrong?

Did you receive my emails?

I am so lonely thinking you might have forgotten  me

Ashra

September 17, 2003

My Dear Ashra,

I could never forget you

You keep my heart beating, my very existence depends on you

You are the air I breathe

My love cannot fade

I love and adore you

My heart is always yours.

My Darling Ashra,

I miss you more than I could ever express in words

My love is yours.

I could never be angry with you

I write trying to answer each mailing I get from you

You are not disturbing me,

How could the woman I adore be troublesome

I too would like to meet again on line

To talk, exchange our deepest thoughts

Desires

The picture I sent was the only one I have in my PC… my webcam is playing up. 

I will

have to get another or borrow one for now.

I would love to see your pretty face because it breaks my heart – when

We keep missing

Each

Other

You are my reason for living,

Kieth

Take care and kisses for you

Love,

Salem

Be safe.

Love,

Ashra

My Dearest Ashra,

I received your picture this morning

I thought I had seen an angel

You are beautiful than I could ever hope to deserve

My heart, soul, and body are yours

My love always

Kieth

My Dear Ashra,

I do not know what you like me for so much. 

You have humbled me. 

All my life no one has expressed to me the way you have. 

You are a very nice person, a very nice looking gal.

Reading your messages and watching you look two different things, you look so

quiet and there is so much inside you to be explored. 

I don’t know where to begin from. 

I am glad to have you a s great friend. 

It was pleasant reading all about yourself. 

Trust me what you disclose to me is not going to go

anywhere and its going to remain just with me.

I have never eloped with any girl outside of my

married life and now I am here with you

talking everything. Lol.  This is crazy but at the same time

I have a feeling of teen...

I shall never call on your landline phone but

I shall try to call you on your mobile. 

I am not sure but I shall call you,  that’s a promise. 

I am at work now and I will be here

even tomorrow.  If I am online I shall leave a message for you.

Take care, luv yah,

Salem

You paint my fairest imagination

Of love in autumn

September 22, 2003

For Salem,

You are in my thoughts everyday

I could not deny the feeling

Of missing you always

Thinking about our exchange of ideas

Is far beyond any other conversation

And though we are oceans apart

The separation from one another further extends the

Possession of life,

The distance of place renders the conjunction

Of our wills

Life is a process of continuous desires

The agony of struggles break the heart

Yet each and everyday that we triumph

Is an increase in virtue

And love

I could not question my existence for you

About yesterday, nor about tomorrow

 I love you so much today and  promise

To keep it until the end of time.

Yes, I thought about most of the things we talked about and how much I love and yearn

for you of making you happy

But I’m sorry

I think I could not be like the others

Because love is being content of the things that are not only seen

But unseen

I think that I am not that sexy, otherwise I might have no reservations

Also, respect for myself is all I got

Perhaps if you are here maybe, or perhaps only in words

because words seep in the

thoughts…

If you still like me as I am, continue to write me

If you don’t, I shall presume you discarded me

I thank you for all your goodness

And the moments of inspiration

I am keeping you in my heart

If you stay, then I got a man

If you don’t, I’ve lost a friend that I’ve loved so much

Yours,

Ashra

To Kieth,

The best and the worst come to people

The fear of losing is a nightmare

Questions replies to quest for truth and lies

Breaking walls of sanity

I could not understand life sometimes

I could not unearth what it means

What remains vivid to me now is you

To cast away dark memories

And unkind shadows of life

Please tell me how do I get to know my cause

I am so troubled

I hope you are not playing games

Because it is in you that I find my peace

Yes I give you my heart, my life, and my soul

Cover me with your warmth

Kiss me with your breath

Embrace me in your arms

And let me sleep

Keep me

In your most gentle embrace

And kiss me like no other

Had kissed me

Melt my heart in your passion

And make me cry to flood the earth

Let me bleed in your tenderness

The hymn of the gentle breeze

I gasp for your every breath

So I could live

I am the other half of you

We breathe life together

All of me is yours

All of you is mine

We breathe life together

The throbbing heart its every breath

The flooding blood its every drop

We breathe life together

In GODs sanctuary of love.

All my love,

Ashra

September 22, 2003

Dearest Ashra

I could never chain you to my heart

That would mean that you would

Forever

Be a prisoner to my love

I want willingly, you give your love to me

Your embrace is my wish

Your touch is my dream

Your love my salvation

All my love,

Kieth

Dear Kieth

Just to let you know that I miss you so much

How could I ever forget the other half of my soul

I send you messages every now and then

Try to keep it in my memory

I love you more than I could love

The thought of you makes me feel so special

My Ashra,

I would willingly take you as my wife

You are my dream, my life

My heart is yours to have forever

My very existence is solely to serve you

And give you love

Always,

Kieth

My Darling

You are constantly in my thoughts and dreams

If you want me to want you then want you I do

If you are mine then that is enough for me

Yes, I love you. Yes, you are my life

Yes I would have you forever in my arms

I could not break your marriage vows

They are sacred

I love you

You are in my heart always

Love,

Kieth

Dear Kieth

 I could not hide my awe in your poetry

I adore you

I seldom meet the words adore, devotion, salvation,

only, all, you alone, very last time,

among others.

The breathing pattern of your rhythm

Is so sweet and in synchronicity with the beating of every heartbeat

It is so real

May I know your birthday?

Love,

Ashra

My Darling Ashra,

My thoughts hold nothing but you

My heart is filled with nothing but you

If we can be wed even if only in our

Thoughts then my darling we can be

More

Than lovers

My heart and my soul are yours,

Kieth

My Kieth,

Wowwww….your scribble is great!

Yes, I love and adore you too

Tell me I’m the other half of your soul

Please

If I’m not, I would have not known my purpose for living

If I’m not, I’d rather wither and die

If I’m not, my soul would be incomplete

I love and adore you,

Ashra

Ashra

My scribble is just drivel compared to your words

I both love and

Adore

You

You are my soulmate, my half without

Which I could not exist

I love you,

Kieth

September 23, 2003

Kieth,

I have never been loved as much as you love me,

Never been loved

I have never been adored as much as you adore me,

Never been adored

I have never got a love so devoted

No love for me ;

You are my dream

You are my life

It is you that I live for.

Ashra

My Gorgeous Ashra,

If we are to be wed, even in our thoughts,

We must decide where to live

My wish is only to be with you.

My love,

Kieth

My sweetest of all loves

Your words are so sweet

You move me to the very depths of my soul

I do not deserve such love

Yet I gladly accept you as my wife,

If only in my dreams, for had

We

Met at

An earlier time I would surely have found

You and made you my own

I long for your touch

I yearn for you kisses

I ache for you each and everyday

You are my life and love

My bday is on the 30^th of April

I am a hospital staff in UK

Kieth,

I love you so much

In life and death

Promise me your love is only for me

I would do anything as you please to make you happy

You take care and stay handsome for me darling

I love you alone

Ashra

My Wonderful Ashra

We must live somewhere that means

An equidistant place between our

Present lands

Where we can live in the shelter of our love

Where we can make love as the sun

Slides slowly out of the sky

Sleep while the stars watch over us

And wake to make love with the

Rising sun

(my dream and my fantasy)

Kieth,

Get a house now where we could live

Please?

So we could be together even in thoughts

Your decision is my decision

I am excited where you will take me

I am not afraid

Because you are one with me

I give you my heart, my life, my all.

Can we have a house in America?

So it could be more realistic for you and me – where

Perhaps sometime we could really be together

Where we can never part

And together often, we’ll always be.

Where I could not function without you

And you without me

The two of us bonded together

Me only for you

And you only for me.

Ashra

September 26, 2003

1.    Now I have to think

2. My Husband

Description

Interests

Fill in please

3.what would be my name

Dear Kieth

It makes me so sad, that you

Who are far away

Can make me happy even in thoughts

Yes, GOD has his reasons

Ways

To balance life with joy and sorrow

You who are the keeper of my soul

Make

Me understand about life

You make my dreams come true

This is a miracle of love.

My Ashra

My writing talents pale beside your words

I have no great talent, but you are a wordsmith

Forging your thoughts into words, hammering

The words with your feelings

Like a blacksmith would produce

A sword or plough

A work of art which is produced only

By those with a gift

My words are yours, my heart is yours and

My thoughts are only of you

Maybe we are a little Romeo and Juliet,

I hope without the tragedy

If in any way I inspire you

Then my heart is gladdened

You my loved one are my reason for being

I am and always will be yours, if

You would have me.

Kieth

I dream about the galaxy

And about the mountains

I dream of all the things that could be

As long as I am with you

I dream of not leaving your side

Not a blink of my eye will lose sight of you

I would not want anything more

but you

We would live in a shelter of our love

And make love

As the sun slides slowly out of the sky

In your cherished embrace

While the stars watch over us

Then, we would make love again

With the rising sun

Your embrace is my wish

Your embrace is my peace

In your arms I could die

I love you forever,

Ashra

September 25, 2003

My writing talents pale beside your words

I have no great talent, but you are a wordsmith

Forging your thoughts into words, hammering

The words with your feelings

Like a blacksmith would produce

A sword or plough

A work of art which is produced only

By those with a gift

My words are yours, my heart is yours and

My thoughts are only of you

Maybe we are a little Romeo and Juliet,

I hope without the tragedy

If in any way I inspire you

Then my heart is gladdened

You my loved one are my reason for being

I am and always will be yours, if

You would have me.

Kieth

I dream about the galaxy

And about the mountains

I dream of all the things that could be

As long as I am with you

I dream of not leaving your side

Not a blink of my eye

I would not want anything more

Nothing but you

We would live in a shelter of our love

And make love

As the sun slides slowly out of the sky

In your cherished embrace

While the stars watch over us

Then, peacefully we would make love again

With the rising sun

Your embrace is my wish

Your embrace is my peace

In your arms I could die

I love you forever,

Ashra

September 25, 2003

My Beautiful Ashra,

I want you so much, may I ask to address you as my wife

You are everything to me, my love is for you and you alone

I wish that someday I would be allowed

To touch your flawless skin

And hold you in my arms

All my love always

My whole life would be devoted to your pleasure

I would never make you cry

You will only ever see and hear smiles and laughter

And only ever experience joy

These are my wishes for you my love

I love you and you alone,

Kieth

My Husband Kieth,

Yes, you could touch me now

Touch my skin and feel every breath of my pore

See the marks of time

The beauty of my youth

The creases of my wisdom

Feel the fragrance and sweat of who I am

Kiss me with your breath

I want your every breath

Every beating of your heart

The gentleness of your love

Which had been a dream to me

A gift of your love

Touch me, yes touch me now

I am adored by your touch

Like a goddess

Who becomes a mortal in the name of love

To kneel to you

And become your slave

I kiss your feet.

My love forever,

Ashra

September 26, 2003

Wished you were here

In the lament of my writing process

Together we could

Make up a fantasy

You who are my inspiration

Offer me every word to write

A bliss in my life

To cover my strife

I am nothing without you

My wish other than our writing

Would be to see each other sometime

As husband and wife

And while we go on

Our souls could never be parted

By distance.  Together we are

Keeping promises

Keeping thoughts

Keeping each others breath

2.    I am your wife

My thoughts are only of you

Naïve, fresh from the falls of Eden, this is my resurrection

I pray that you would love only me

Because you are mine now

If by chance there is another love

Then I would go, or perhaps stay again if you asked

To keep our covenant

If I get jealous my heart would sink

Into the deep

Form a boulder

Standing on seas

I could never be moved then

My grief would turn the sea red.

I am your wife

Love me as no one had ever loved me

Wind my heart

It is beating your name

Thanking GOD  time you came

I am tired

Let me lie beside you now, my husband

Press your lips unto mine

Let me sleep in your most cherished embrace

Let me touch you

I desire you.

There is only one Salem,

I love you

September 23 2003

My Darling Wife

I am currently working three night shifts

So we might miss each other

For a

Short while

I will try and get on line to answer

Your mails but if I don’t please

Do not

Get angry or sad

I both love and adore you

My Darling Wife,

My love one, I adore you and hope that

Any union between us can be a

Partnership

My love heart and soul are yours to do with

As you please

I ache for you each day

I am your devoted husband

Your words move me as no others have

I want to desire you even from afar

My love does not diminish

Even though it is just in dreams

I need you more each day

My love as always is yours

My wife whom I adore

My wish is to be one with you

Your are to me is one of the most beautiful woman on earth

I ask nothing more than to be loved by you

I am your servant and your lover to do with as you will

My love grows stronger everyday

September 27, 2003

My work as hospital officer is always hectic… always needed by people

People never

Stop being sick or injured

I have a Bachelor of Science degree which I obtained whilst working

I have never been polygamous, I am yours as long as you want me

Kieth

My Dearest Ashra,

What wonderful words, they seem to fall

From your pen

You have a talent which I could never equal

I carry your words in my heart

DH LAURENCE

ONE MUST LEARN TO LOVE,

AND GO THROUGH A GOOD DEAL OF SUFFERING TO GET TO IT

AND THE JOURNEY IS ALWAYS TOWARDS THE OTHER SOUL

September 29, 2003

I tried to check my emails tonight.  I was so surprised that I got mails from you so soon.  I was trying to catch you if you were online.  But maybe you just did the mails.  I am missing you my darling. Il will be waiting and sending you mail while you're away.

I know you are not polygamous…LOL.  You make me believe that.  LOL. Just be safe .

Thank you for your care. I could go nutsss, feeling you really are my husband.  Maybe I’m crazy ---  to die for you.

Love,

Ashra

I am happy that you worked your way towards your dreams and goals in life

And study whilst you work….wow that’s great of you.  You must be a real genius!

My Ashra

I have one wife …. You

My love always,

Kieth

 My Darling Ashra

I both want and need you

I ache  for you touch, your words

And your love

I am yours forever

My love as always,

Kieth

Dear Kieth

My body yearns for you

I am missing you so much

I love you

Kisses,

Ashra

My Wife,

Please, please do not cry

I could not bear it if I was the cause of

Your tears

My heart and soul belongs to you

September 29, 2003

Salem,

You could never be forgotten

You were always there for me

Your Bestfriend,

Ashra

                                                                                                                          

September 29 Monday

My Dear Wife

When I heard your voice it was as if angels were talking to me

I thought nothing could compare to your picture, your beauty is breathtaking

But your voice so pure and full of life moved me

I love you so much.

My Husband

I got so excited to hear your voice

I missed you, too

Yes you are my life and my reason for living

My heart is yours

My thoughts are yours

My soul is for you to keep

I could cry in happiness

I yearn for your embrace

I love you, my husband.

My Darling Ashra,

When I heard your voice I was lost for words

I have never been so happy

Please be mine and think my name

Let your love be for me

You are my sole thought through night and day

I would love to see you, I know in real life it would be impossible

But…

I love you so much and I need you

More than ever.

My Love,

If I could turn back time to a day before

I would take you to be mine alone

My Darling Kieth,

May I ask for your address/location in UK if possible?

I am trying to review my geography.  Wished it were me, so I could see the castles and get to go where you are –

Sometime maybe if there will be a miracle

I am praying sometime we could be in one place and be together for real

I am serious

Take care,

Ashra

My Darling,

I live near to a place called Middlesbrough.

Or should I say halfway between Middlesbrough and Whitby

Whitby is the initial setting for the story by Bram Stoker,  “Dracula.”

We have castles, ancient priories and scenery to die for…

the weather on the

North Yorkshire Moors this time of year

Has the most wonderful shade

Of

Purple

If we could be in the same place for real at some point, I am sure

That I would get us arrested

I would not be able to keep myself in control, I

Would be unable to stop myself making love to you where we were.

I love you my darling.

My Husband,

Please think of me when you are in bed and asleep

Please think of me when you are awake

I want you and need you so badly

My heart aches

My love one, please take care.

Thank you for making me your own

Find union with your thoughts

I want to grow old with you

Take care of you

Age gracefully in your love

You are the other half of my soul.

==============================================================

On November 26, that same year Kieth and Ashra got wed in Sacred Heart Parish, Scotland.  The honeymoon was spent in the Philippines.  And then, they traveled to different parts of the world.  Ashra died of heart failure and left Kieth with no son or daughter.  After Ashra’s death, Kieth had his acres of farm planted with beautiful flowers and named the  farm Lady Ashra Fields.

The End

Copyright rose flores – martinez 2009

Author:  Ma. Rosalinda Flores – Martinez

Philippines

Contact: rose__voc@yahoo.com.ph

Or rfvietnamrose9@gmail.com

Thanks.

December 2, 2013. Make Up

MAKEUP

My father told me I looked like a beauty queen. He told me that if I tied my hair neatly and walked gracefully, I could put on a crown. He bought me many pairs of shoes – orange, yellow, and black, different colors, and dresses that are charming but out of this world. I’m proud to wear those dresses because glancing eyes followed me that echoed what father said: You are beautiful!

Beauty for me was self-expression. It was the way you carry yourself marvelously neat, and appropriate, sometimes even by simply opening the mouth, tacitly smiling and boastfully laughing, or just by displaying an awkward mannerism. Father told me about these things.

But my classmate, like Elizabeth (how much I envy Elizabeth!) glided like a ballet dancer. And Ara with her long lashes brushed with black mascara, and Sophia with her rosy tinted cheeks and glossy powder patted on her face, formed like buds in the morning. I wanted the same things, too - on my eyes, on my cheeks, on my face. “But no makeup, I wouldn’t like you to put on makeup. You would grow pimples and allergy. Don’t apply nail polish, too. Stay plain. Stick to the name of simplicity. It’s the essence of being a woman,” father said.

Being a woman. It was fun being a woman. My friends said it’s as beautiful as butterflies with transparent wings, the feeling of mist, and sunrise. "A woman blossoms to a full bloom with a fragrance enticing the earth to settle and bow down to the sky."

But not yet, being a woman maybe later …

Everyday when I went out the house, I could observe people’s personality were enhanced by the clothing they wore. They’re wrapped in different packages. Though it’s true I saw how they adorn themselves in a civilized environment, I also wanted to discover how they would differ from animals. How we differ from the cats and dogs, lizards and mosquitoes, boars and wolves.

Oh, the skin and its pores – fine pores and coarse pores. Violy’s skin was flawless and white while Judy’s was dark and shimmering. Violy always shouted in her squeaking voice, “Francia, Francia we have to try all possible ways how to look attractive!” I would just look at her. We worked together with school projects. And then Judy would tell me, too – “You have to go with some boys and Andre so you would know how to feel and be woman.” Judy was our school muse who walked in stiletto like a model. She swayed her hips gracefully like the bamboos that swayed with the wind.

My looks spelled naivety. There were times I felt boys were afraid of me because I was so plain, and maybe like them? But I always remember what father said, “You are beautiful Francia.” 

One day father bought me two dresses from Escolta. One dress was a violet quilt that seemed to make me a princess ready to sleep, and the other was a red and blue dress, pleated up to my knees which let me symbolized something worthy of praise like a flag. I wore that blue and red dress during an awarding ceremony. I felt simple and elegant in the red and blue dress. And respectable, too.

I could imagine myself so proud in that dress, while father would hand me the award for my declamation. Awarding day came and made me stand glued near the canteen and small gate. I was waiting for father. He didn’t arrive. I could play jumping jack. It didn’t matter anyway, my teacher just gave me the plaque. By the end of the ceremony, father came with his friends and uttered his sorry. That was okay. I hugged him tight.

“You look like a beauty queen,” he teased me and I smiled.
Such was my father.

College graduation highlighted a change in the way father treated me.
“You have to be responsible of your actions and the work you would soon do, Francia.”

“But of course, father. Don’t you trust me?

‘There are many things in life one has to learn. You would know soon. In the jungle out there, sometimes, you have to be a lion and sometimes you have to be a rat.”

“Opposites? Like day and night?”

That was how we spoke to each other. 

“What gift would you like to get from me?”

“Nothing, maybe only a few bucks so I wouldn’t ask for any other expense when I look for a job.

“You have to beg now,” father laughed out loud as if insulting me.

The next day father gave me something. I thought it was strange, because of all the reasonable things he told me, what he gave me was immaterial. 

“I thought you didn’t like me to put on makeup?”

“You are an adult now. You could paint your face as you like. Reinvent. Disguise. Express. Color.”

I was engrossed inspecting the big box full with varied cases, bottles, and tubes of makeup. Some brands were expensive, some were cheap, but all in all –the gift was very attractive to me. I knew the big box cost more than my expensive novelty.
Thank GOD not only because father could afford these things but also because he had taste. 

That night I tried the different hues that would seem to look good on me. Eye shadows and lipstick – pale and daring colors. Yes, I could model and ramp on graduation day!Father’s gift was so exciting to me. I knew it did not make any sense but I really liked it. He said that putting on makeup made one prepare for maturity, I answered that it gave me the thrill of being a child. Of being free. To experiment on things I’m not used to find importance. Could I be like Violy, or Elizabeth, or Sophia?

Father peeped in my bedroom good night, noticing how excited I was. Maybe on graduation day, I would feel woman.

“Good night Francia. Just wait for me tomorrow at the auditorium. I will be there and would listen to your graduation speech. Mr. Banong would bring you to school early because I have to see a client. And don’t worry, I wouldn’t be late. I’ll make sure of that, I promise.”

My heart wandered a bit. It throbbed a deep longing for my father. But in a way I was quick to get my words right.

“Tomorrow I would wear all these makeup father,” I laughed and kissed him.

“Good night again, model student.” then father sealed my forehead with a kiss.

The next morning, Mr. Banong brought me to school early. In school everybody wore the best they could to impress. You know teenagers and the would-soon- to be adults, they’re searching for identities. And pushing to be on top. Popularity counted for us. 

And so the awaited day right in my hands. The hallway leading to the auditorium was full of spotlights. It was elegant and quiet. But inside me, it looked cold and freezing. There was a tinge of loneliness in my heart I couldn’t explain.

Later, I would be delivering the speech as a model student, and I’d make sure father would be seated in front to listen to the girl, he chanted to be the most beautiful in his life. Father was my mom, too, and I could identify with him - not from what a baby would suck from a mothers breast, but because of his sweat protecting me to become a worthy person. I may not be as gorgeous as my other friends but my breeding is something history would preserve. I owe my father.

“Francia, hurry the program would be starting in 10 minutes,” said Elizabeth. “You have to go in front and remain seated.”

“But..”

“Daddy is late again… hahahaha” Elizabeth laughed. I winced at Elizabeth then she hurried away. I still waited until the emcee called my name and I run through the spotlights going to the stage. The scene was a bit dramatic because I deviated from the procedure, and the sitting arrangements. People glanced at their programs, and maybe questioned, “… the model student? 


What mattered to me was father to see me deliver this final and memorable speech. I thought he would glory in my shimmering eye shadow, red full lips and a rosy tint – his baby girl and beauty queen: a real star!


But father was not around…My eyes searched all corners of the auditorium to seek for this robust and gentle man until my speech ended. I got applauded for the model student address. 

After the other ceremonies, I ran near the canteen to check had father arrived. Time passed by and I stood waiting, shrunk like a soaked sponge in the shifting afternoon.My face began to sweat oil and I could feel the sticky mascara and eye shadows smudged all over my eyes. I wiped my face with my bare hands and tried to free it from the colors that blemished my innocence . “Where is my father?”

I seemed lost in the night until Mr. Banong came to get my things. 

“Where is father?”

Mr. Banong kept his silence. I asked again. 

“We would go to your father.”

I felt a deep mystery inside my heart but I kept my peaceful pace because I was accustomed to father’s business meetings.

I have to let father know he did not keep his promise to me, let him see how an adult wears makeup and how an adult expects a promise. A promise is more than words. More than a ceremony. More than something to compromise for… I have to let him know a promise is sacred like the freedom I get putting on all this make up.

Mr. Banong, what did father say?

The driver didn’t answer me. Instead he repeatedly beeped the car so we could make a turn. 

And he stopped in front of a mortuary.


I did not ask Mr. Banong questions anymore but hurriedly went down and run the creepy hallway. I guessed I knew what was happening and I didn’t like to understand it. Father was all I got and never in my dreams had I prepared for this scene of meeting him inside a box topped with a mirror.

They said father suffered three gun shot wounds because of the bad guys who wanted to kill him. Anguish was around me – in the air, in the shadows, in my body and in my face. Now I would be alone. Was this the responsibility father told me about?

I still got some colors on me, 
and I tried to explore my face 
in front of father in the coffin, 
with the little angels that watched 
on the 
Cross. 

By: ROSE FLORES - MARTINEZ 2008

REBECCA

REBECCA
















Kuwento ni Rose Flores – Martinez



30 Piling Kuwento 2003



Editor: Danilo S.Meneses



Introduksiyon ni : Reynaldo S. Duque









Makikita pa rin ang maraming bundok sa daan papuntang Bicol. Hindi maikakaila ang masukal na mga lugar. Sa bintanang salamin ay matatanaw ang lumang simbahan, na parang makapapasong tingkad ng liwanag, dala ng sinag ng pusyawing asul na ilaw ng krus sa gilid ng bundok.









Hindi ko maitago ang pagkamangha sa ganda ng kislap ng pusyawing asul na ilaw ng krus, hindi rin makapagsisinungaling ang aking damdamin.









Maganda nga, napakaganda ng kinang ng liwanag, ngunit sayang at hindi ko man lamang nadama ang hiwaga nito. Malamig ang dampi ng hangin sa paligid, may init ang sinag ng pusyawing asul na ilaw – katulad ng magkahalong lungkot at saya na aking nararamdama. Kung hindi nga lamang dahil kay Lola Basya …









Ano iyon? Mga ibong gubat? Marami pa ring ang mga kikik na nakakubli sa hinganteng mga punong kahoy sa gilid ng kabunkukang aming dinaraanan, pumupuno sa puwang ng iilang bahay sa tabi ng parang.









Kaya nga ba maririnig and mga usap-usapang nakakatakot at mga kuwentong hindi kapani-kapaniwala. Natatandaan ko ang mga kahiwagaan sa San Jose – ang mga engkanto, ang mga lamanlupa. Natatandaan ko rin ang pagkamatay ng isang malayang kamag-anak na tinatawag kong si Lolo Dado. Isang makisig at matandang lalaki nang magkasakit ay unti-unting namayat. At sabi-sabi, kapag gabi ay may makikitang aaali-aligigd na maga aso at baboy sa silong ng kanilang dampang bahay.









“Kain ka,” sabi ng katabi ko sa upuan.









Hindi ako makatanggi sa pag-abot niya sa akin ng kanyang kinakaing mani. Nakita ko ang masarap niyang pagnguya at pagkagat sa malulutong na butil.









“Salamat.”









“Sige dagdagan mo pa.”









“Tama na sa akin ito. May sira kasi ang aking mga ngipin kaya hindi masyadong makakagat ng matitigas.”









Nagsinungaling ako. Ang totoo, sa pagkuha ko ng ilang butil ay amoy na amoy ko ang matinding pagkagisa nito sa bawang. Ayaw ko ng bawang! Bagamat sa pagdaan ng panahon ay natuto rin ako na paunti-unting tumikim nito.









“Taga-rito ka rin ba?” tanong ko.









“Hindi. Dadalaw at magbabakasyon lamang. Maganda kasi rito sa Camarisnes Sur, lalo ang mga dagat. Talagang probinsyang-probinsiya. Maganda ang lahat, ang mga Bicolana – tulad mo! Kaya lang ang paligid, kung minsan ay nakakakilabot, masukal ang mga bundok. Sabi nga, marami raw ditong ‘anlayug’?”









Hindi ako sumagot. Minadali ako ng sigaw ng konduktor sa pagtigil ng bus mismo sa tapat ng aming malaki at lumang bahay. Nakalimutan ko tuloy ang magpaalam sa aking katabi. Parang kumukulog ang aking diddib sa lakas ng pintig ng aking puso. Nasasabik akong makita si Lola. Ang pag-ihip ng mabangong hangin sa aking mukha ay tila isang halik na nakapagpapasigla. Totoong takot akong umuwi, mayroon akong pangamba, ngunit iba ang sinasabi ng aking kaloooban.









Halos lumipad ako papunta sa pintuan.









“Tapo po…Tapooooooooo…..!”









Bumukas ang pinto at sinalubong ako ng isang matandang babae.









“Magandang tanghali po…po!” ang bati niya.









“Kayo ba ang bagong katulong?”









“Ako nga…Ako si Tessie na inirekumenda ng inyong katiwalang si Blandina.”









Tinitigan ko siya mula ulo hangaang paa. Matandang posturyosa! Napansin ko ang kanyang mapupulang labi dahil sa lipstick.









Binati ko si Tessie nang papuring may kasamang pa-insulto. “Para pala kayong artista, pinagsamang Rosanna Roces at Ai-Ai!”









Ngumiti siya, tuwang, tuwa dahil napansin ko. Nagliwanag ang dati’y nanlilisik na mga mata. Dahan-dahan, may pag-arteng hinaplos ang buhok na nagtatayuang parang alambre sa tigas.









“Ang dilim naman. Bakit sarado and bintana, ang aga-aga pa?”









“Malamig. Bawal malamigan si Lola.”









“E, and mga ilaw, bakit hindi ninyo buksan?”









Sinindihan ko ang mga ilaw, inikot ko ang bahay upang mabuksan lahat ng switch para magliwanag. Pinagpagan ko ang mga mesa at tinanggal ang alikabok at mga sapot ng gagamba na nakadikit sa mga sulok.









Pagkatapos, hindi ako nagpaliban pa ng mga sandali para Makita si Lola Basya. Ito ang panahong aking pinakahihihtay. Marahil ito na, ang panahong aking pinakahihintay…



“Kumusta ka, Lola? Andito po ako si Rebecca, ang inyong paboritong apo,” ang aking bulong sa kanyang malalapad na tainga habang lumalapat na marahan ang aking labi sa kanyang noo, sa kulubot na pisngi, sa pagod na mukha.









Nangatal ang aking laman sa hitsura na bumungad sa akin. Payat na payat ang matanda. Maitim ang kaniyang mga kuko at labi, hirap sa paghinga at mahinang-mahina. Parang may hinihintay. Wari ay maghihintay pa…









Ang lungkot na aking nadama ay hindi ko maipaliwanag. Sa muling paghalik ko sa kanyang noon ay may tumutulong luha sa mga mata nang naramdaman ko ang isang kalabit.









“Magme…meryenda ka muna, Rebecca,” sabi ni Tessie na nagdudumaling pabalik sa kusina. Sinundan ko si Tessie ng tingin hanggang matapat sayi sa salamin at kung paano nag-iba ang anyo ng kanyang mukha ay hindi ko alam. Pumapangit ang hitsura niya, lumalaki and mga mata, humhaba ang dila at tumatayo ang mga buhok. Guni guni?”









Sa isang kisapmata, napasunod ako sa mabilis na paglakad ni Tessie, ni Manay Tessie. Nakalimutan ko ang lahat. Ang napansin ko lamang ay para siyang dala ng hangin. Maliksi ngunit walang ingay ang mga yabag. Pagkatapos, gumuhit muli sa alaala ko ang lahat sa pagkalam ng aking sikmura. Hindi ko na hinintay ang paglamig ng mga pagkain.









Nanonood si Manay Tessie sa aking pagsubo, tinitingnan ang aking pagnguya. Nakangisi. Tuwang-tuwa.









“Ma… masarap?” tanong niya.









“Oo. Sino bang nagluto ng mga pagkain dito? May mga katulong ba galing sa bukid? Si Blandina?”









“Ako na rin. Sabi kasi ni… ni Blandina ang bilin mo raw ay huwag nang kumuha ng iba pang katulong…”









“Masarap ka palang magluto. E, kumusta nama ang pagkain in Lola?”









“Mahirap ngang pakainin si Lola Basya. Ang lagi kong ibinibigay sa kanya ay ang nasa.. sa latang pagkaing gamut na inireseta ni Dr. Rosales.”









“Ganu’n ba? Ano ba ang sabi ng doctor?”









“Talaga raw ganyan. Baka naman iba ang gu-gusto ng Lola mo…”



Hindi ako nakasagot. Sa pakiramdam ko, siya ay nanunuya. Hindi ako tanga. May itinanim na palaisipan para sa akin si Tessie. Nag-init ang aking mga tainga, bahagyang sumulak ang aking dugo, namula ang aking balat sa inis. Tiningnan ko si Manay Tessie ang matalim, parang mangangaing aking titig, tagos sa mabilis na kurap ng kanyang mga mata. Napayuko siya. Napahiya. Pagkatapos ay nakita kong may isang basong tubig na ako sa mesa.









“Mamayang alas-siyete, baka pupunta uli si Dr. Rosales. Makabubuting kayo na po… pooo.. ang makipag-usap,” sabi ni Tessie.









“Linisan mo na lamang dito,” ang aking madiing utos.









Inis pa rin ako. Sa malakas na boses ay ipinakita kong ayaw ko sa kanyang pabalagbag na sagot. Ako ang amo, ako ang dapat masunod. Hindi ako dapat pangunahan.









“Simula ngayon, ako na ang mag-aalaga kay Lola Basya. At siya nga pala, huwag mong patayin ang ilaw sa kanyang silid.”









Pilit kong pinigil ang aking sarili sa pakikipag-usap sa kanya kaya nalunod ako sa katahimikan. Naisip ko ang lungsod. Kapanglawan ang tanging yumakap sa akin habang nakatitig ako sa pagkakahiga ni Lola. Malapit na… Iiwan niya ako.









Si Lola Basya. Si Lola Basya ang nag-alaga sa akin buhat nang ako ay maulila. Ginawa niya ang lahat para ako ay makapamuhay nang masagana at tahimik sa kabila nang sabi-sabing lintek na sumpa sa aming angkan. Hindi rin siya nagkulang sa pagpapa-alala sa akin tungkol sa kabutihan at tiwala sa Maykapal, kahit alam niyang ako ay may tinatagong poot at hinanakit.









Nagtatampo ako… sa simbahan. Ngunit umaasa at naniniwala.









May lagay na napakalaking krus si Lola sa isang lugar ng aming bahay, tulad ng pusyawing krus sa simbahan. May mga angel na palamuti sa bawat sulok nito at tinakpan ng mga luma at makutim ng tela. Natabunan ng alikabok.









Tinanggal ko ang mga tela.









“Hindi kita bibiguin, Lola.”









Narinig ko ang ugong ng electric fan sa silid ni Lola Basya. Ang ingay na ito na tanging bumabasag sa katahimikan ng paligid. Umaalingawngaw ang ugong sa maluwang na kabahayan na kinukurtinang ng asul.









“Isa… dalawa.. tatlo…nararamdam ko pati ang pagpihit ng malaking orasan. Malapit na nga. Halos pahiramin ko ng pahininga si Lola at isipin kung mabuti sa kanyang pisilin ang kansyang ilong para matapos ang kanyang paghihirap? Malakas ang aking kaba. Lumalakas sa paghihintay kung ano ang sunod na mangyayari.









Gusto kong bulabugin ang langit! Gusto kong isigaw ang aking mga tanong. Lagi akong nagtatanong, laging nagtatanong sa Diyos kung bakit kami ay kanyang pinabayaan. Hindi maarok ng aking isipan ang mga kakaibang pangyayari sa mga pagsubok na ito. Pilit kong iniintindi ang kahiwaagaan, ang mga sakit sa aming buhay, na hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko maintindihan at mahanapan ng lunas.









“Re… Rebecca! Manood naman tayo ng TV. Tapos na ako sa aking mga gawain.” Naistorbo ako sa aking pag-isiip at pagkakaupo sa ulunan ng kama ni Lola.









Sumusulpot si Manay Tessie nang pabigla-bigla. Noon, napabulaslas naman ako ng halakhak sa bigla niyang pagharap sa akin. Napagmasdam ko ang kanyang napakaputing mukaha na parang pinadukdok sa arina.









“Sige, buksan n’yo na nga.!”









“Alam mo ba? La…..la…. lahat ng Channel ay mayroon dito sa atin. Kaya ng lamang ay malabo. Ang marami ay….ay mayroon na ring cable channels na kanilang tinatawag. Sila mayor yata ang unang nagkaroon dito.”









Namangha ako. Sa hitsura niya’y parang hindi niya alam ang cable ngunit… masyado yata akong makapag-isip. Itinuon ko na lamang ang aking atensiyon sa pinapanood na palabas. Naguguluhan ako.









Maya maya pa, sa kagagala ng aking mata ay muli kong napagmasdan ang matandang katulong. Napansin ko ang langis sa kanyang mga payat na braso, sa kanyang mga binti. Lalong pinakikintab ng langis ang kaliskis sa balat ng kanyang mga paa. Nagpapadulas…









Pagkasuklam ang nararamdaman ko para kay Manay Tessie sa pagtuklas ng maraming bagay tungkol sa kanya. Tulad ng pagtalikod niya kapag matatapat sa malaking krus. May kakaibang amoy rin na iniiwan ang haplas niyang langis. Mabaho. Sabi niya, ito raw ay parang Omega Balm, gamot sa nananakit na mga buto at kalamnan.









“Ang mga aswang ay may ritwal na ginagawa,” kuwento ni Lola Basya. “Kailangan sila ay maghaplos sa buong katawan bago magpalit ng anyo.”















Inusisa ko ang pangalan ng panghaplos ni Manay Tessie. “Ang baho-baho! Bukas bibigyan kita ng lotion para mabango ka!” sabi ko.









“Sa i…Instsik ‘to…Hindi ko alam ang pangalan . Sa sitsiriya ko nabili noong nakaraang piyesta. Malansa ba? Bibigyan mo ako ng bagong lotion? Kung gusto mo imamasahe pa kita, Rebecca.”









Lalapit na sana siya sa akin ngunit pinigil ko. Pagkatapos may nakita ako ng mga posporo sa paligid niya na nangaghulugan habang ang isang istik ay ginamit niyang parang toothpick.









“Ang mga istik ng posporo ay ginagamit nilang pampalakas. Ito ay babala ng isang aswang,” naalala kong muli ang kuwento ni Lola.









Sa mga oras na iyon, matalim ang titig sa akin ni Manay Tessie. Ang singkitin niyang mga mata ay parang nagdiringas at tulala habang kinukutkut niya ng posporo ang kanayang ngipin. Nakita ko rin ang posporo na pula ang dulo, kasing pula ng dugo. Hindi ko lang pinansin. Pagkatapos hindi ko na napigil ang antok.









Kinaumagahan dalang-hangin na naman si Manay Tessie na papalapit sa akin. Inilalantad niya sa aking harapan ang bila-bailaong mga prutas na galing sa bukid. Inaalo ako. Bakit?









Mabilis ang tiktak ng orasan. Hindi ko iniwanan si Lola Basya hanggang sa paglubog ng araw. Hindi ko rin kinausap ang matandang katulong sa buong maghapon tulad ng dati. Nagpakitang gilas si Tessie. Sa dapithapon ng maayos na ang lahat ng kanyang trabaho ay nagpaikut-ikot naman siya sa bakuran. Nakita ko ang kalungkutan sa kanyang mukha na nakatingala sa langit. Nag-iisip parang nagmamakaawa…









Tumabi akong muli kay Lola. Inayus-ayos ang higaan niya. Tumingala din ako sa langit, sa itaas – at katulad ni Manay Tessie ay nagmakaawa…









“First Friday pala ngayon,” bulong ko sa aking sarili. Dinapuan na naman ako ng lungkot. Hinaplus-haplos ko si Lola Basya.









Madilim na. Malakas ang hangin sa labas. Maraming ibon. Tahimik ang gabi. Bilog ang buwan. Ang liwanag ay sumusungaw sa maliit na kawang ng bintanang kapis. Nakakahalina ang liwanag. Hindi ako mapakali. Maya-maya may nakita akong asong itim sa gilid ng bakuran. Mala-dambuhala, kaya isinarado kong mariin ang mga bintana.









Mabilis, may nag-udyok sa akin para lumabas ng kuwarto. Natigilan ako. Wari ay may humihila sa aking mga paa papuntang pintuan. Sinigurado kong nakakandado ang lahat ng mga pinto at itinarangka itong mabuti. Binuksan kong lahat ang mga ilaw. Ang aming bahay ang pinakamaliwanag sa buong San Jose! Parang piyesta, parang may prusisyon ng Santakruzan sa tapat!









“Nakahanda na ba ang mesa? Manay! Manay!”









Hangos ako sa paghahanap kay Manay Tessie. Takbo ako papuntang kusina. “Ayyy, naku!’andiyan ka na pala bakit hindi ka nagsasalita?”









May apoy ang mga titig niya. Nakapapaso. Nagsimulang magtayuana ng kanyang mga buhok, kumpul-kumpol. Natatandaan ko ang mukha niyang nakakatakot ng makita ko ang kanyang mukha sa salamin sa sala., noong ako ay bagong dating.









“Ano ang tumutulo sa iyong damit?”









“Regla!” Nagdudumali si Manay Tessie. Hinila ko ang kanyang kamay at kinaladkad papuntang sala, pinaharap ko sa malaking krus. Pilit siyang nagpupumiglas. Hinila ko ang kanyang buhok na nangagtatayuan. Dahan-dahan, parang nahahati ang kanyang katawan na nagpausbong sa luwang ng kanyang damit…









“Dugo ‘yan ni Lola!”









“Bakit? Di ba gusto mo rin ng dugo?”









“Walanghiya!”









Umikot ako sa hangin at tinadyakan ko si Tessie ng malakas, malakas na malakas. Paulit-ulit. Pagkatapos ay mabilis akong nagpunta sa kusina.









Pabalik, hinarap ko si Tessie…









Ilang sandali pa mahinahon na ang hangin. Nalilito ako sa susunod na gagawin. Ang natatandaan ko lamang ay ang simbahan… ang pusyawing asul na ilaw ng krus.









Sabi ni Lola, ang simbahan daw ay luklukan para makapagbagong- buhay. Ito raw ay may kapangyaringhang bendisyon sa unang iyak pa lamang ng sanggol hanggang sa huling hantungan ng kaluluwa.

Kuwento ni Rose Flores – Martinez



30 Piling Kuwento 2003



Editor: Danilo S.Meneses



Introduksiyon ni : Reynaldo S. Duque









/posted 10.07.2009



rosalinda flores - martinez
KATINIG Writers


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